To the Athlete that was Stripped of their Sport

Whether it is because of age, an injury, or health issue- at some point you stop being able to compete in the sport that has defined who you are. When this happens it feels like a part of you has left and you can’t get them back. You try to fill your time with other things but nothing is the same. Your life is moving on and there is nothing you can do to go back in time, and get the chance to play just one more competitive game.

To those of you who feel this way, I have a few pieces of advice for you. I am here to tell you that it is going to be okay. No matter what stage you are at.

  1. It is okay to relive those memories.

I will never forget the last game I played. It was one of the best games of my life. I will never forget those team bus rides, pasta dinners, the hotel stays, or the feeling of holding that medal when my team came in first place. These memories make me smile, they bring happiness.

2. It is okay to feel sad and miss the game.

There are moments that I get stuck in a rut. I would give my left arm to play again. Not only do I miss the sport itself; but I miss my best friends, my teammates. I miss how it felt to run until my legs felt like jello. The way I felt after a really good work out. I miss the way my teammates and I cheered each other on, how we had each others backs. I miss the way it felt to win as a team. They way we came together.

3. It is okay to play recreationally.

This is probably the closest you can get to those feelings ever again. It is not the same but as least you still have a team. The real fun of the sport (that you may have lost sight of during intense competition) comes back to you. The good news is there is still opportunity in the future to play the sport that you love.

4. It is okay to find a new hobby.

As corny as it sounds, the empty void that came with the completion of competitive sports, left me with the time to find some new talents (and I must admit, a better social life.) I forced myself to do different things. I took up making bracelets. I began to do yoga. I even took up writing this blog. I had no idea that sports was not the only way that you could come to “find yourself,” and all the different qualities that you possess. This is a very positive thing.

and finally…

5. It is okay to stop playing one day.

This day may come sooner to some than it does for others, and that is okay. The memories that you create from playing this sport and the amazing friendships that have come from it will outweigh the ability to physically play. The lessons you’ve learned from being part of a team and having to carry responsibility will take you a long way in life. Farther than the 1st place trophy sitting on your nightstand.

Ultimately, your participation in competitive sports will always be a part of who you are. It will forever be a subject that is close to your heart. Hold it there.

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Day 16

I have been to the gym many times. I would say maybe 10/16 days and that’s low balling. But yet I have still gained 6 lbs. I think this may have something to do with the food that I have been eating. However, I am still proud of myself for going to the gym as often as I am. It almost feels routine at this point. I don’t dread it as much and I haven’t been pushing myself until I throw up (an old bad habit). I am just happy to be there, and going is better than not going. Finding a way to fit the gym in was definitely step one for me, and I think I can say that step is almost conquered. I will know for sure as soon as I get back to school.

Food is a battle. I have battled it so much, my doctors at one time believed I had/have a binge eating disorder. I have always looked to food when I have a strong emotion, such as being very sad, or even very happy. This is going to be a difficult thing to face, because I have to accept my faults and failures. But they become easier to face if I don’t look at them as black and white. Instead of saying I had a very bad day, I can leave it to a not so good day, or one that could use some improvement, but not BAD.

I think the first step I want to take with food is just integrating more veggies. Carrots, peppers, cucumbers and dressings for snack instead of things like chips and junk. I hope that taking little steps like these every few weeks will have a better success than changing everything all at once. I will simultaneously be focusing on my water intake, but that will probably be more concrete as a step number two. One things at a time here, good things take time and I am willing to be patient with this one.

Day 3

Today was okay! I had a smoothie for breakfast (around 11) didn’t fill me up at all, but it did make me cold. Then I went to the allergy testing appointment and was starving beforehand, so I got a chicken snack and go wrap :/. I managed to remind myself to drink lots of water before eating it to try and fill me up better, which was a good thing to remember. I also only got a small coffee instead of a medium, which was different for me but I realized it was still able to wake me up! Another plus! Then I cam home and had one of the meals that I prepped for lunch. It was A LOT of food, and I ate it all. Dad made a comment about me eating too fast and to slow down and it pissed me off. Mostly because he was right, and also because I already felt guilty knowing I was going to be eating so much food. That was around 3-3:30 ish. I decided afterwards to crawl into bed and watch Creed. Then 5:30 came around and I had to go to Ritas so we could go to the mall and get Cassie’s bday present. I brought a bag of smart food with me because I figured I would get hungry, and sure enough around 7 i was munching on it, but it was better then spending money on food that was probably way worse for me. I was still thinking of how I didn’t have dinner on the way home and knew that I still had to get a workout in. I thought about just skipping dinner because my lunch was so big but I decided I needed fuel for my workout so I had a bowl of pasta with a meatball. The bowl was smaller than I would usually have but I wasn’t hungry after so that was good. I realize that maybe pasta wasn’t the best choice but I knew that I was going to be working out and it was the easiest thing we had around the house, I just had to warm it up. Then I did around 30 min of zumba videos, again, better than nothing. I hate working out so late thought because now I am awake. On the plus side, before bed I filled up my third water bottle (didn’t get that far yesterday) and plan to drink at least half before I go to bed. I took a quick shower and I am feeling pretty good, but awake now. I am hoping that watching the end of Creed will help make me sleepy again.

I want to print out the “Reasons I want to Give 100” List (truth be told I haven’t actually printed it out yet), to keep reminding myself when life gets busy and I don’t spend as much time thinking about my Give It 100.

Overall a good day and in bed by 10:30! My work out tomorrow needs to be in the morning and I want to be up by 10! I hope my body allows me to wake up to my alarm!

Day 2

Today was okay. I was able to go food shopping and meal prep for the week. I made a Mexican bowl, a recipe I found off of Facebook. It has brown rice, black beans, corn, salsa, cheese, avocados, peppers, onions, and chicken! Its a pretty big meal, but I plan on having them for lunch and cutting down on my dinner portions. They say that thats the healthiest thing to do anyway. Water was eh today, working on finishing my 64 oz. I did a 30 min at home work out, and was able to work up a sweat. Better than nothing! Then I look a nice relaxing bath with my muscle relaxer bubble bath stuff. Made myself a cup of hot cocoa, and now here I am. I weighed myself after my bath (10 pm) and I was up 4 lbs from yesterday which ticked me off. But I think its because I weighed myself so late and because I was working out, and had quite a bit of water towards the end of the day.

My body feels sore but okay. I’m looking forward to sleeping tonight. I have an appointment tomorrow at 2 for my allergy testing. Depending on what time I get up, I want to try and go get the gym membership for the family. Hopefully Dad will be okay with that. Then I am going shopping with the girls for Cassie’s birthday present, so I definitely want to work out before that. I want to find a work out that I enjoy, hoping to give Zumba a try!


So I started an idea based on a video that was sent to me in a trial weight loss thing. I did it because I was guaranteed a gift card at the end, lol. But anyway, it was about this woman who decided enough was enough and decided to dedicate the next 100 days to treating her body like the temple that it is. She went to the gym every. single. day. for 100 days. By day 70 she was out of the 300 club. She actually took videos of herself working out each and every day and was able to compile a “master” video on youtube. You could see the changes she was making through videos she also added in, she seemed happier. She was more playful. She was herself. I want that for me. She has motivated me to give 100 days. It is only 100 days of my life. Who knows what I could accomplish. There are days that I may fall, but knowing enough about myself, I know that when I set my mind to something, there is a good chance that I will accomplish it. I also started and Instagram page in order to try and keep myself accountable to posting something everyday. I want it to be a reminder to myself on why I am doing this. In addition, I wrote a list of why I want to give it 100, printed it out, and stuck it on the back of my door. So that every morning I wake up I am reminded of those reasons.

I refuse to set rules. This is a life style change. Not a diet. I will meal prep healthy foods, I will make a daily effort to exercise, but I will NOT get down on myself when my workout of the day is a 15 minute walk. Everyone has those days. I would tell a friend that it is okay to have bad days, so why am I not entitled to them? It’s time to start loving who I am, and treating my body with love and kindness.

It’s only the beginning, but I believe in myself. I am going to try and write here every once and a while as well in order to give myself something to look back on. I CAN do this.

To the Girl Who is Never Good Enough for Him

Screw him. When he hurts you, I mean really sticks it to ya… it can make you feel like you need to vomit. It can make you not want to get out of bed for a week straight. It makes you not want to eat, not want to talk to anyone, and it makes you hate yourself. You want to know what about you, you need to change. What can you do to change his mind? I’ll tell you what you can do to change:


You don’t need to change a single damn thing about you. You are a beautiful human being just trying to survive this thing called life just like the rest of us. And none of us, deserved to be treated as anything less than a wonderful human. When you forget about how well you deserve to be treated, here are a few things that you can do.

  1. Make a List.

Make a list of everything you like about yourself. No matter how small. You like the color of your nail polish? Good. Write it down. You remember that one time you paid for a friend when you were out to eat/shopping? You’re an awesome friend. Write it down. You have any special talents? Good imitation of Squidward? Watch an entire Netflix series in two days? Can stick your tongue to the tip of your nose? You’re practically a super human. Write it down. You’ll find when you write down the small stupid stuff as well as the bigger things like being a good listener, or having the ability to empathize with someone, the list can get pretty long. These are the things you should be proud of. These are the things you have going for you in life. I promise you someone will come along that will appreciate every single one of these things and want you in their life because of them.

2. Engage in Exercise.

It doesn’t have to be anything strenuous. It can be as small as a 10 minute walk or a 5 minute video off YouTube. The natural release of chemicals in your body will help get you out of that rut. It can make you feel more confident and more able.

3. Realize the people in your life that love you.

Family. Friends. Animals. Those that show you love unconditionally. Just because one stupid guy doesn’t feel the same way you do, does not mean that you are not surrounded by love. Speaking from experience, a girls night out can surely do the trick

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